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Why it Is (Sometimes) Good for Man to Be Alone

Tony Orji by Tony Orji
April 6, 2018
in News
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I had never given thought to the idea of searching out solitude. Things
were going great. I was a Grammy Award-winning music executive with a
wife and three beautiful kids. I had so many amazing friends and an
exciting community. Solitude — why would I need that? After all, we
weren’t built for solitude: “It is not good for the man to be alone”
(Genesis 2:18). We go through life better together.

However,
there is power to be had, wisdom to be found, and intimacy to be
discovered when we deliberately step aside from community and carve out
time to go solo.

Jesus understood this… 

He always traveled in community, but when he needed to recharge, he left
the pack and went solo. In the desert, on the other side of Galilee, in
the garden of Gethsemane, and in many other examples, Jesus sought out
solitude. There is a depth of understanding that cannot be gained in the
company of others. For me, going solo transformed my life.

My
wife walking out — leaving me to be a single parent of three young
girls — was the best thing to happen to me. I was alone. Really alone
.

I
wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone, but this is precisely what it
took to get my attention — to help me see how being alone, with the
bottom dropped out, was the pathway to true peace and a strength I
hadn’t known before. Over the next 8 1/2 years of being a single parent,
I discovered the gift and power of solitude. In fact, I came to crave
it. But it didn’t start easy.

Seek a state of knowing. 
When
we move deliberately toward solitude — real solitude — we are reminded
about the holy order of things unseen. In our daily life, we often lose
sight of Who is really beside us, Who is for us, Who is bigger and
stronger than anything we face. When we are still, we come to know how
little we need to stress. The roles we play in life — executive,
homemaker, teacher, plumber — don’t matter to our Father, because His
pursuit of us is exclusively to connect to our heart, regardless of how
the world (or even we) see ourselves. He wants to remind us of the power
He brings to us, Power to overcome the world.

Solitude communicates without words. 
When
I started practicing solitude, I would remain in this state of
“knowing” for as long as I could, letting my mind slow down and letting
the Holy Spirit comfort, strengthen, and recharge my soul. This solitude
always brought exactly what I needed. Even if I couldn’t articulate
what I was lacking or worrying about, these times of solitude made my
soul open to my Father’s care and provision supernaturally, without
having to use words. He knows what we need more than we do. Our job is
merely to come to Him and make our souls available, beyond words.

If
my life hadn’t fallen apart, I never would have discovered the power of
solitude. My hope for you, however, is that solitude will not have to
be imposed on you for you to discover the power and peace it can bring. I
hope that you will deliberately seek it out — daily, even. The secret
of solitude goes beyond what we understand with our minds. It provides
connection to the intimate heart of our Father and to the power that
only He can bring. And trust me, as someone who spent eight years
raising three young girls on his own: God’s power is far greater than
anything we are capable of on our own.

[written by Robert Beeson]

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About Dr. Anthony Orji

Dr Anthony Orji

Senior Lecturer, Economics, UNN

Dr Anthony Orji is a Ph.D holder in Economics and a lecturer at the Department of Economics, University of Nigeria Nsukka.

He obtained his B.Sc, Msc and Ph.D Degrees from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka and a Post Graduate Diploma in Sustainable Local Economic Development (SLED) from Erasmus University, Rotterdam Netherlands.

Dr Anthony Orji

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