much time or effort to see that our culture is pessimistic about marriage. A
happy marriage seems more like a fairy tale that Pollyanna dreamed up fifty
years ago. Many of today’s wives are complaining left and right about their
husbands’ many shortcomings.
I like what host Bob Lepine of Family Life Today says, “Our
role is not to figure out how to fix our spouse. Our role is: How do we reflect
Christ in the marriage?”
for the glory of God.
have I done for you lately?” Instead of being disappointed in what your husband
hasn’t done, you can experience great peace knowing that you are doing him good
and not evil all the days of his life (Proverbs 31:12).
And guess what? I
can attest that when you respect your spouse and practice making your husband
happy, he will turn around and pour that love right back onto you.
to get started? Here are the top ten ways to make your husband happy:
Make s*x a priority. No big surprise here. Women understand
intellectually that s*xual fulfillment is a top need of a man. But do your
actions demonstrate that you really get it? Maybe you’ve taken care of the kids,
cooked a delicious dinner, and even endured an action flick. Compared to the
other wives you know, you’re doing pretty well. Yet you may be discounting his
need for fulfilling s*x. Most husbands would rather
have dishes in the sink and a wife waiting in the bedroom.
Make your home a haven. The world can be a tough place. When your
husband walks in the door, he needs to breathe a sigh of relief. He’s home.
Think of how you greet your husband. Does he see the back of your head as you
type furiously on the computer or do you look him in the eyes and say, “Honey
I’m so glad you’re home”? Make your home a place where your husband feels
Respect your man’s needs. What need does your husband
have that perhaps you have discounted? It may be s*x, quality time, the cookies
you used to bake him, or going to ball games together. Don’t get defensive when
your husband voices a need. Listen instead and then act positively to meet that
need the best you can.
Let your man lead. The idea of submission
has many women up in arms. That does not need to be the case. The New Testament
speaks clearly in three passages that we wives are to submit to our husbands as
unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18 1 Peter 3:1). This doesn’t mean
you become a door mat. What it does mean is that your respect your husband’s
role as the leader of the home. After you’ve weighed in on a topic, the final
decision belongs to your man.
Kiss every day for five to thirty
seconds. Here’s something your husband will really like! It doesn’t cost a
penny and it hardly takes any time. A healthy daily dose of passionate kissing
will boost your marriage and keep the pilot light lit between you. Give out
plenty of kisses, just like when you were dating.
Take care of your
appearance. When you were dating, your husband found your body type
attractive. He was hooked on your looks. Now that you’re married, it’s important
that he still finds you attractive. When you take time and effort to watch your
weight and dress nicely for your spouse, it communicates volumes. I care about
you. You’re still the one for me. I want you to approach me.
back date night. Someone once wisely said to me that date nights are less
expensive than marriage counseling. When you have time to regularly connect with
your spouse to be fun and romantic, you prevent the arctic chill from settling
between you. Date nights give you something to look forward to. Make sure they
don’t become family business meetings. Guard your date nights as pure recreation
Smile. You’ve probably heard the saying “Happy
wife, happy life.” Most, if not all, husbands would certainly agree to that!
When a wife is unhappy, everyone in the household knows. Some days you may not
feel like smiling around the house, but go ahead and fake it at first. Put that
plastic smile on and most likely, your natural beautiful smile will emerge
shortly after. Your smile communicates to your man, “I’m happy to be married to
you. I am thankful for a great life with you.”
Speak kindly. If
someone were to repeat all the things you say to your husband, would it be “news
that’s fit to print?” Are you heaping on praise and encouragement, or criticism
and sarcasm? Treasure your husband’s efforts to please you and provide for your
family. Don’t trash what he does either to his face or behind his back. Your
words matter more to him than anyone else’s.
Get on the same
parenting page. Your kids know they can divide and conquer. When they
succeed, your home is anything but peaceful. Recognize that you and your husband
are not on opposite teams with different parenting philosophies. You’ve got to
get on the same team so you can be a united front to your children.
which of these suggestions do you think would bless your husband the most? Try
implementing that and then keep adding to your repertoire. You will have one
very happy husband!
[written by Arlene Pellicane]