endangered species. I really believe that.
Over the past 15 years, I have
been working directly and indirectly with college students. Almost 10 years ago
I noticed a trend that – at the time – was alarming. That alarm has now been
going off non-stop since, and I’m finally seeing it come to
fruition.
What became obvious 10 years ago to me was that boys were
growing up only to become older boys; never maturing to a place of living as
Godly men.
and called it “Young Guns.” The point of the program was to teach boys what it
looked like to “live a life worthy of the calling [they] have received”
(Ephesians 4:1).
Fast forward 10 years, and what we have now are boys who
have no clue what it means to be a man. Our college staff regularly ask me if
they can just come by my house, and watch me interact with my family. To me,
there is nothing magical happening at my house, but for them, they are thirsty
for an example of living as a Godly men.
And now I look down and have 2
boys of my own; a 5-year-old and 3-year-old. As I interact with them, all the
conversations I’ve had with young college students over the years flood through
my mind. What has God instructed me as their father to teach them and — in
light of the culture we live in — what are some practical areas that I need to
build into them as well? Here are a few I am focusing on, and how I am doing
it:
1. Teach them about God. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
I thought
this wouldn’t be that difficult until they started asking me those questions
that only a small child can formulate: “Dad, if you just prayed for my hiccups
to go away, why am I still hiccupping?” Good question. I want my boys to begin
to learn about God by showing them who He is with easy, concrete examples. God
is a warrior, a strong tower, a rock, a strong foundation, a dad, etc. Easy to
understand concepts that help build a picture in their minds about who He
is.
I’ve written a blog post already about this, but the Jesus Storybook
Bible is an incredible resource for young kids. Each night, I gather my boys —
and sometimes my daughters — and I just read them a story out of this Bible. I
think we are in the middle of reading it through for the 3rd time. It is
engaging, easy to read, has good pictures, and really helps tell the story of
Jesus through the entire Bible. My boys love that time each night. (They now
fight for who can sit on my right side while I read, after I told them it was a
seat of honor in biblical times.)
2. Teach them to work — hard.
(Genesis 2:15)
God created work for men. This was not a result of sin.
Before sin entered the world, God had already instructed Adam to tend the
garden. When I leave for work, I want them to know, “I get to go to work today.”
As well, I get to teach them to work around the house. They “help” me mow the
lawn, split firewood, and clear debris. Right now, they love it. I want to teach
them early that work isn’t a punishment, but a way to glorify God.
3.
Teach them to obey.
This is consistent throughout scripture. Obey God.
In order for them to do that, they need to learn on a smaller level. Steph and I
work hard to teach them to obey quickly, consistently and joyfully. We do many
“let’s try that again” moments. When they obey correctly, we slap many
high-fives and hoot and holler.
As part of this, we want them to know
there are consequences to sin; one of those is separation. Many of us have
stories of people around us who lost their jobs, their families or their
integrity by sinful decisions in their lives. We want to teach them early how
when they choose to disobey, there are consequences. It’s no fun to sit on our
stairway at home in “time out,” but necessary. I want them to feel the
separation as young boys. Hopefully, I’ll be able to build on that later in
life.
4. Teach them to lead. (Ephesians 5)
This is not a
power-grab type of leading. This is leading by taking responsibility; a leading
that is motivated by serving. You know how little boys try to whine and moan
because they are trying to explain why they made the poor choice they made. I
want my boys to learn how to lead by taking responsibility.
If it was
their fault, they need to own up to it. John Eldredge uses the phrase “offering
your strength.” My boys need to learn what it looks like to offer their strength
to others: to those that are being picked on, to women, to their friends. Our
culture consistently offers us pictures of men who are greedy, prideful and
starving for more power. I think teaching my boys what it looks like to lead
begins by teaching them to take responsibility.
5. Teach them to love.
(Ephesians 5)
What does it look like to love God, love your wife, and
love your kids? Boys today need to see “tender warriors.” What does it look like
for a dad to submit his heart to God, and to seek to follow him daily? I want my
boys to see me reading my Bible in the morning with a good cup of coffee. They
need to see me on the couch with my wife, as I tickle her or cuddle. They need
to see me lovingly teach, encourage, train and disciple them.
They need
to know I’m their biggest fan. I am because they’re my sons.
[written by
Kevin East]
