On the Sunday before Thanksgiving of 2016, my mom met a J, a young
single woman visiting my parent’s church for the first time. She was new
to town, four months pregnant, her family was in another state, and she
had nowhere to go for the holidays.
A nudge from the Holy Spirit prompted my mom to ask J to our family dinner. That act of kindness would change my life.
My
husband Andy and I and my sister and her spouse arrived at my parent’s
house on Thanksgiving Day, and we all piled into my parent’s van — the
six of us, plus J.
“So who is this girl again?” My husband whispers to me.
“I don’t know!” I said. “My mom literally just met her!”
Our
family is a big one — there were four generations present at dinner —
and I could see a look of overwhelm flash across J’s face when we
arrived at my uncle’s house. She settled into a chair and began
observing our family’s dynamic, while various relatives arrived at my
side to whisper, “What’s the story with the pregnant girl? Who is she?”
in my ear.
“I have no idea,” I said, laughing. “We’ve only just met her.”
As
the dinner went on, J became more relaxed and we fell into easy
conversation about her pregnancy, our similar interests and our
different family dynamics. She went on and on about how nice my family
is. “There’s no drama! No one is fighting! No one is gossiping! The kids
are so well behaved! I want to be a part of this family!” I enjoyed
seeing my family through her eyes, and was reminded of how blessed I am
to be a part of a big family that loves and serves one another well.
And
that right there is how I thought the story would end. J began going to
a Bible Study with my parents and continued to attend their church,
but, as we live in a different state than my parents, I never ran into
her.
Our lives went on. For Andy and I, that looked like getting
through one day and then the next. We were living life in black and
white. After experiencing two stillbirths, joy felt out of reach. Things
got even more painful when Andy admitted he no longer wanted to pursue
having children — not even through adoption. He didn’t want either of us
to experience more disappointment, more grief.
Though I was
deeply devastated by Andy’s confession, my heartache caused me to run to
the Lord, knowing He was and is my only comfort, and that He knew what
our future held. I felt God place a hope within me that I hadn’t felt
for years. I didn’t know how long it would take, but I knew, deep inside
me, that God would change my husband’s heart.
Then, on a Thursday in April, I received a phone call from my mom.
“Do
you remember J? The girl we brought to Thanksgiving? She’s scheduled
for a c-section next week, and she’d like to offer you her baby.”
WAIT, WHAT?
In
those months between Thanksgiving and April, J decided she wanted to
make an adoption plan. She had a hard time picturing herself giving her
child to a family she didn’t know, and before long her due date was
quickly approaching. A mutual friend of ours told J how Andy and I
longed to be parents. (I hadn’t mentioned my stillbirths at Thanksgiving
dinner.) She could know exactly what kind of family her baby would be
brought up in. J approached my parent’s first, wondering if they would
be comfortable with her being the birth mother of their potential
grandchild. They could hardly contain their excitement!
Praise God, Andy had a change of heart. We joyfully said yes, and a week later we had a brand new baby girl in our arms.
Our Chloe Mae is now 14 months old!
I’m
amazed by the beautiful story God was weaving without us even knowing.
That a simple kind gesture — inviting a stranger to dinner — led to the
adoption of our precious girl.
My mom could have ignored the
prompting from the Holy Spirit to reach out to J. She could have kept
our dinner family-only, and avoided any potential awkwardness. She could
have let her concern over my feelings (being around pregnant women was
hard for me after my losses) keep her from extending the invitation.
Instead, she recognized an opportunity to say “yes” to God, to allow
herself to be a tool in His plan — even though she didn’t know what
God’s plan was at the time.
“Do not forget to show hospitality to
strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels
without knowing it.” Hebrews 13:2
“Therefore, as God’s chosen
people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion,
kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12
Your kindness has a greater effect than you think.
[written by Laura Rennie, a wife and mom who loves sharing about Jesus
