If you’re reading this right now, I would gather that you either want to
know how to be better and not bitter, or you want to help someone else
in this case. Whatever your position, I’m glad you’re here. Because we
need to have the conversation about it. And the reason being is so that
healing can begin to take place. So…are you ready?
Usually,
bitterness doesn’t just happen. It’s a bit of a process. It’s slow,
sneaky, and it can be vicious if not checked. It often stems from some
form of hurt, offense, injustice, or disagreement. And again, if these
described emotions are not dealt with, then a root of bitterness will
begin to grow. It’s inevitable.
But you have a choice. You can
choose to be better and not bitter. I need to say that choosing to be or
stay bitter is sinful. It’s true. And it’s not God’s way. But I think
you know that already, and that’s why you’re here. Because you DON’T
want to be bitter or you don’t want others you know to be in this place
either.
So here’s how healing takes place. I’ll start with the
biblical ways first and then I’ll share some practical tips on how to
overcome and defeat this life-sucking, hindering spirit. Here goes…
Biblical Perspective:
Ephesians
4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and
slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to
each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through
Christ Jesus has forgiven you.”
Proverbs 20:22, “Don’t say, ‘I will get even for this wrong.’ Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.”
Proverbs 10:12, “Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.”
Hebrews 12:15, “…Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”
Romans
12:17-18, “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way
that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in
peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:19-20, “Dear friends, never take
revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For Scriptures say,
‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back, says the Lord. Instead, ‘If
you enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them
something to drink. In doing so, you will heap burning coals of shame on
their heads.”
Romans 12:21, “Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.”
Let
God’s word have weight in your life and get rid of bitterness, my
sister. It’s really all about letting God work on your behalf, while
also taking the action steps to responding well as a Christian woman.
Trust me. The devil would LOVE for you to treat those who have hurt you
angrily and against what God’s word says. But don’t give him the
satisfaction.
Now here’s some practical advice that I promised…
Watch
out for self-deception. Because sometimes there can be an undercurrent
of bitterness whereas you think you’re not bitter, but you actually are.
The acid test to see if bitterness is creeping into your heart is
dependent upon how you feel when the individual comes to mind or name is
mentioned. What emotions arise? Is it anger and resentment or love and
forgiveness?
Personally, I know the feeling of being bitter. I
know the onslaught when the enemy brings it on and I know when it’s
creeping into my heart. I can sense it. I can tell by how I feel. And
the Holy Spirit convicts me when it’s present. But…I wasn’t always able
to recognize it.
Before I started living the Christian life
according to God’s word and with conviction, I allowed bitterness to run
rampant in my life. Meaning, if I was upset with someone, that
individual would know it to the fullest extent! Yet, it wasn’t until I
learned through good teaching and the word of God that bitterness is
destructive and a hindrance to my spiritual growth and productivity. And
it’s sin. So guess what? I had to let it go!
And I want to teach
you to do the same thing. Let it go! Don’t let it rob you of your joy,
productivity, or love. Don’t let it steal your peace. Don’t allow it to
cause you to be mean, angry, or slanderous and destroy good
relationships. Don’t forget, our great enemy Satan comes to steal, kill,
and to destroy, but Jesus came that you would have life more
abundantly.
So LIVE. Live the abundant life in Christ, my sister.
Don’t let the enemy rob you of your right to forgive, love people
deeper, and dwell in peace as much as possible with others as the Bible
states. Instead, choose to be the bigger person, let go, and MOVE ON.
Because guess what? Most likely, while you’re still angry, that
individual or individuals have moved on.
With that being said,
instead of waking up thinking about the offense or the person who hurt
you, set your thoughts on things that are pure and lovely, and on things
above, not on things on the earth as Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:2
states. Think about how Jesus would want you to respond.
or if you feel it creeping up inside of you, I urge you to carve it out
of your heart today. Circumcise it with God’s word and get free. Also,
if you haven’t made things right with the individual who hurt you, do
so. And if you have done so already, remember…let it go and move on.
It’s time to be free. Make the choice to be better, not bitter today. Do it for you and for others.
Remember, Jesus is coming back soon. And those who endure unto the end, shall be saved. Let’s be ready from the Inside Out.
[by Courtnaye Richard, a lady who loves helping women grow in their walk with the Lord]
