I beg on my knees.
I want something big and I’m sure God wants it too.
Surely, if it’s a good thing and it lines up with what God desires, then I
should get it. Right?
When any of us pray fervently for months and years,
it’s easy to wonder why the good things we want haven’t happened yet, or if they
ever will. When they don’t, disappointment creeps in and it looks a lot like a
weary heart.
God calls us to a life of prayer. He calls
us to surrender, wait, trust, and believe. But, I got to tell ya’, sometimes I
wonder what all that really means. Not because I disagree. I passionately desire
to do these very things. Rather, because I’m not sure what it looks like
practically. It’s easy to say, but what does it mean to do?
I’m inclined
to think of laying prostrate in prayer until a time when everything gets fixed.
Then my time in prayer would be done and I’ll think I’ve won. Because I prayed
long enough or right enough.
Not God winning. But me winning. Winning
because I did the very thing he asked me to do until I got God to do what I want
him to do. {I cringe to admit this.}
Some of my inclinations have been
found woefully inadequate in understanding how God works.
We can pray
like crazy (for years) in hopes of seeing a life changed. We want to see someone
saved, someone healed, someone freed. Maybe the someone is us and maybe it’s
someone we love.
God may call us into a prayer venture with him for the
rest of our lives. One that pleads and intercedes for the same thing daily. I
won’t dismiss the wild things God calls us to that don’t always make sense to
everyone else. I’ve been there myself many times, standing in prayer when others
gave up. It can feel isolating and confusing. It tests your fortitude and
faith.
Yet, waiting and praying alone isn’t
all God asks us to do. Sometimes there’s something else
needed.
Action taken.
We could be waiting on God to do what
He’s waiting on us to do.
This something could look like acceptance for
what is, so we can move forward in new ways. It could look like choosing a path
we don’t want to take. It might even mean giving up a good thing for the God
thing ahead of us.
Maybe you’ve been hanging on to threads of hope while
waiting, waiting, waiting. You’re waiting and praying but nothing’s changing and
there’s little reason to believe it will.
Hoping against hope could
actually be a defense system to keep us from doing the hard work of
growing.
If you need a little nudge, allow me to say it’s OK to seek
another step towards change. In fact, it might be God is waiting for you to do
so. Ask God what that might be. Then respond.
Each of us has an
individual journey to take towards living well in this sometimes hard to live
life. Each of us can cultivate things to help us do so through prayer,
gratitude, praise, and more. These are vital.
However, I wonder how many
Christ followers are suffering further because they are waiting for God to fix
all their ills. Like me, they’ve hoped and prayed for God to do what they know
He can do, but all the prayer in the world doesn’t seem to make it all change
for the better.
They are waiting and hoping for things to change without
taking steps that could help change happen.
They are disappointed in
themselves because their positive proclamations and years of prayer haven’t
produced the kind of fruit in their life they want to see. Weariness weighs
heavy. Maybe, they’ve grown depressed or angry or addicted as their assumed
“right” answer isn’t making them be who they want to be nor their circumstances
to be way they want.
Maybe this is you?
I’ve said it
before, prayer is how we battle. We absolutely must engage in prayer and we must
do it often. Even so, prayer alone isn’t what makes Christians grow and live
according to the best plan God has for them.
I treasure the beauty and
wonder of prayer greatly. I believe in prayer unending and in praying for others
in person, via messages, and silently. Prayer changes us.
You know what
else? I also believe in the way God speaks to us and leads us into steps of
action, trust, and surrender as a result of our time in prayer.
If we
stop with telling God what we want in prayer, we limit Him to only interpersonal
communication and not inner person transformation. We must listen and respond as
well. Surrender and trust go hand in hand with
walking in faith. We wait for God to act and for His timing to be
right.
While we wait, we also walk.
[written by Jolene
Underwood]
